I Need to Play the Ponies- I got some crazy odds!

We know this egg donor thing is a difficult process. It has twists, turns, challenges, unexpected dips and dives. And that's BEFORE the government gets involved.

In 2005 the FDA began regulating testing on egg donors and determining what "kicked" them out of donating eggs. There has to be testing during a certain time frame right before the actual retrieval. Many in the medical field feel it's too narrow of a window, and many patients lose precious time and money should something go wrong.

And that's exactly what happened to me.

Brianne went for her baseline labs and u/s just like me on Friday, like the good patient she is known to be, and the responsible egg donor she is she also picked up all her medications she was due to start on Tuesday.

On Monday, her test results came back. And she tested positive for something (something they'll never tell me of course). Nonetheless she is ineligible to donate by FDA rules and in fact what ever she has kicks her out of donating for the next year. She also had to start some sort of medication too. Now she had her first set of testing done on September 1st, and all was well. However on this October 12th date....she tested positive for something. And just like that...Brianne was out of the picture.

Which means I'm out a donor.

Which means the cycle is canceled.

Oddly, I wasn't devasted...or in despair, or in anguish. Actually, I was downright pissed. Talk about feeling robbed!!! I was furious at Brianne, for reason I don't know. I have no idea what she has that took her out of our cycle, but of course she got the brunt of my anger. It's not like that's all easy either because I certainly can't call her on the phone and yell in her ear. Then panic sets in.

When is the next cycle I can get in?

What about my $8,000 I paid to have Brianne on my books?

Where are these $2500 worth of meds now?

Could I just randomly start asking women on the street to donate an egg or two to me?

After 48hours of pure hell and lots of information gathering, here's what I know.....

January is the soonest I can cycle again.

My $8,000 was never considered "spent" and it was banked.

The meds were returned to the clinic and in safe keeping for me for my next donor.

.....and thus the process begins alllll over again. Choosing another donor.

Now, I guess I consider myself experienced with this process and I have a whole new list of demands and thoughts as I look at the profile of these girls. I want to see that she has a job. I want to see that she's somewhat intelligent. I want to figure out if she's local (so I don't have to pay travel expenses). I want to pay a stipend of no more than $5,000.

257 girls in the database, and I have it narrowed down to 8 girls.

Alisa, Randi, April, Andrea, Connie, Jamie, Angela and Sarah. Just tonight in more profile studying I've crossed off April and Alisa. I'm not sure why anymore, but at the time it seemed appropriate. Trust me you go crossed-eyed looking at these profiles after a couple of hours.

The agency is going to tell me if they are local to my clinic or not. These are all $5,000 girls, so I'm set in that department. Once I find out who's local, then the decision will be made.

I can't believe but just a few days ago 3 nurses and a physician were telling me how wonderful I had done in picking the donor that I did.

And look what happened.

A New Twist

Has it really been since September 16th since I posted last? Oh my goodness what a bad "egg" I am! (haha, I crack myself up!) (HA! another one!)

Well the short version to this story is that I was coasting along. Seriously I was a skate right into the finish line. Embryo retrieval from my donor Brianne was scheduled the week of Halloween. I found this to be VERY lucky because it's my favorite holiday! Brianne and I were on the same meds, our cycles were synced up, we were in unison!!!

I went for my "baseline" check last Thursday. Now the deal with baseline is it's the pre-show. The doc gets out his magic wand, aims for the hoo-hoo and takes a peek around in there. I'm not sure what he thinks is in there since the last time he looked in there just 3-4 weeks earlier. But you know, Jimmy Hoffa's body has still not been found.....

Anyway I got a "thumbs up" from Dr. A. Now I wasn't my usual chipper self as I was sitting in that clinic room. Aside from the fact that you know magic wand time isn't really all that fun, I just was having a few surreal moments.

First, I was back in that blasted office. Now I hadn't been there since May. I hadn't been there since I had my own egg retrieval and my precious 3 eggs all died day 2 of fertilization. I had nothing to go into transfer with. This is one of the reasons that we moved to donor egg. My eggs just are old and moldy. So I'm having a bit of a "moment" getting myself all back together being in a place that had such an icky memory. Dr. A is very intuitive (for those of you who are medical that's pretty rare in a person that has MD behind their name...nurses on the other hand...) Anyway, Dr. A says, "What is wrong with you??" So I explain to him how it's all surreal to me, it's a bit of a bummer to be back, it sucks to be in these circumstances and it really blows that I gotta entrust the most important thing in my life to some chick named Brianne whom I'll never meet. He was very reassuring, very sweet and explained that he'd worked with Brianne before and she was "top notch." Brianne was "the perfect donor" Brianne was "smart and right on top of everything." Okay...actually that does help Dr. A!

I walked out of the "Magic Wand" room, and the office staff give me all kinds of kudos for picking Brianne as my donor. By the time I leave I'm pretty much thinking I"m winning the Nobel Prize in Science for being so smart in donor choices! Ironically, Dr. A thought he should send me to get an Estradiol level, just to "make you feel better about everything." I'm thinking, seriously dude, I don't need to get stuck with a needle to feel better. For the record, the level came back perfect.

Again, back to my coasting. I was getting excited!! Retrieval and transfer were just around the corner, the weather was changing, and I'm still on a high from choosing Egg Donor Amazing Woman!

Then Monday came.