It's funny because this whole blog consists of betting anologies about my infertility. But in all honesty, it really kind of is!
"I'll place $15,000 on the egg in slot number 24"
And then your number doesn't come up. And you just lost your moula. I don't even think I want to put down in print the amount of money we've spent on this journey! Money we've put down with no guarantees whatsoever......just like gambling.
So, my past 5 IVF egg retrievals have gone something along the lines of...
15 Follicles retrieved
7 mature eggs
Day 1 Fertilization: 3 fertilized
Day 3 Fertiliaztion: 1 fertilized
That's probably about an average. I've never made it to a 5 day transfer nor have I had any "extra" to be able to freeze for future use. So when I say it's a game of ratios...this is what I mean. We start out big...and dwindle down. Hell, there was even one cyle that all the embryoes died and I had nothing to transfer. Then there was the wonderful cycle where all my eggs ovulated on thier own...and I was just out all the money, time and emotion of that cycle.
Needless to say I've had my fair share of bad news when it comes to egg retrievals and fertility reports.
April had her egg retrieval yesterday. J and I drove down to supply the sperm deposit required of course to turn eggs into embryos. So as you can tell, I've really had no participation into this whole "getting pregnant" event. Seriously, it's had nothing to do with me this whole time. April just needed a few meds to pump her up, J just needed a cup. Me...I'm just reading a book on the sidelines.
Now obviously being on the sidelines just isn't my cup of tea. So of course it's been very hard. I am supportive of April and J in their respective jobs here, but talk about sitting on the bench waiting for a turn!
Egg retrieval is hard on the body. If you're not familiar with the process it goes something like this. You are sedated, laid on a table with some very full overies, the doctor inserts a pipette through your vagina, cervix, uterus, ovaries to extract all those follicles. You wake up feeling like someone punched you in the gut. Twice. Extra hard. It's still hard to believe she signed up for this. Voluntarily. Without knowing me.
But she did. And she did it well!! Her ER went well, there were no problems and she went through without a hitch. She also gave us 19 mature eggs. ALL 19 were mature. ALL of them. And then we got the fert report today. 18 of them fertilized. 18!! ALL FREAKING 18!!! Oh my God!
Okay....batter up!!
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Thursday, January 17, 2008
The fast track of Egg Donation
......and what seems like in the blink of an eye, everything is ready for egg retrieval.
April also passed that all important 2nd round of testing and her lab work was good, she started stimming meds without difficult and before I knew it...April's ready.
Listen, do you know there's a Hallmark card out there for this? I'm not lying. It's in thier "Journeys" collection. I picked it up for April.
As of today's report, April has 15 follicles that are ready to be plucked. And they plan to do exactly (eggsactly...hahah) that on Saturday-just 2 days from today. She takes a trigger shot tonight of HCG which is the final drug that puts the "glow" on those follicles before they are removed 36 hours later.
I wonder if this has been a stressful week for her? Do you think she was hoping for a certain number of follicles? Do you think she's afraid of disappointing me? Is she hoping and wishing as much as me? I have to think somewhere along the way it's more than a $5000 ordeal for her. I guess in my heart of hearts, I have to believe that or it feels a bit sour. I wonder if she thinks about me at all.....
So now all of the shots are in my court now! I had it real easy these last couple of weeks, but now man the pressure is on! I got my new meds calendar today and I have a bunch of shots tomorrow, then every other day until transfer in about 6 days.
6 days!!! Holy cow!!!
April also passed that all important 2nd round of testing and her lab work was good, she started stimming meds without difficult and before I knew it...April's ready.
Listen, do you know there's a Hallmark card out there for this? I'm not lying. It's in thier "Journeys" collection. I picked it up for April.
As of today's report, April has 15 follicles that are ready to be plucked. And they plan to do exactly (eggsactly...hahah) that on Saturday-just 2 days from today. She takes a trigger shot tonight of HCG which is the final drug that puts the "glow" on those follicles before they are removed 36 hours later.
I wonder if this has been a stressful week for her? Do you think she was hoping for a certain number of follicles? Do you think she's afraid of disappointing me? Is she hoping and wishing as much as me? I have to think somewhere along the way it's more than a $5000 ordeal for her. I guess in my heart of hearts, I have to believe that or it feels a bit sour. I wonder if she thinks about me at all.....
So now all of the shots are in my court now! I had it real easy these last couple of weeks, but now man the pressure is on! I got my new meds calendar today and I have a bunch of shots tomorrow, then every other day until transfer in about 6 days.
6 days!!! Holy cow!!!
Can I ever catch up?
Now I was supposed to be blogging and blogging every piece of this puzzle so that I could look back on this and remember as much as possible. This is obviously the craziest thing that I've ever experienced in my lifetime, and how am I going to remember all the feelings and emotions that I had along the way. I'm sure I've had many.
First, let's get caught up.
Needless to say, we had to find another donor. What a tedious process to say the least. It's a search and a search and a review of hundreds of girls who just feel their eggs are the best. Of course for a mere $5000 to $10000 stipend, they'd be happy to share with you. I'm not trying to be snarky by any means, so please don't think that. I know they are making a huge committment and personal sacrifice to get poked, prodded, to appointments, etc. All for someone they don't know. I don't take that lightly.
So you can imagine what became really important, really fast. Money. When I first looked through donors, I was looking for eye color, hair color, etc. Then as the cycle approached I began to worry about things like responsiblity, ability to follow instructions, etc. (That's not a question they ask on the donor profile, by the way.) But this go-round I had to get down to brass tacks here. How much is the stipend? What will I have to pay in travel expenses for her? ....that's all it began to boil down to.
So I ended up with a list of about 7 names and told the company of my choices and wanted more info and more pictures. Of those 7 girls.....2 were actually available, and weren't pregnant at the time (no, the irony doesn't escape me). So I chose 1...felt pretty thrilled with my choice considering the financial restraints I was working in! She also had green eyes! (my color)
She went for her first round of FDA testing. .....and failed. What the HELL!??!?!? Seriously, this was becoming a real nuisance! Was there no one out there that could pass a freaking blood test? So that left me with 1 donor.......
April is her name. Now April has proven to be a pretty swell choice. She passed her first round of testing (yes! one hurdle down) and from reports from the office staff she was "really nice." Okay folks, this is good. I like a girl with a nice personality who gets along with people, it just makes things run a whole lot smoother.
Choosing a donor is just an experience that was very difficult for me. Not because of the situation itself that leads me to need donor eggs in the first place, but because of lack of connection. I wanted to be anonymous...I still do. But I also am a person who likes to connect to people in a real way. What's April like when she's happy? What's she like when she's stressed? Does she have a "story" ? (Everyone has a story of course.) It's all just odd not to have those pieces of the puzzle together in my head...and ultimately my heart I think.
First, let's get caught up.
Needless to say, we had to find another donor. What a tedious process to say the least. It's a search and a search and a review of hundreds of girls who just feel their eggs are the best. Of course for a mere $5000 to $10000 stipend, they'd be happy to share with you. I'm not trying to be snarky by any means, so please don't think that. I know they are making a huge committment and personal sacrifice to get poked, prodded, to appointments, etc. All for someone they don't know. I don't take that lightly.
So you can imagine what became really important, really fast. Money. When I first looked through donors, I was looking for eye color, hair color, etc. Then as the cycle approached I began to worry about things like responsiblity, ability to follow instructions, etc. (That's not a question they ask on the donor profile, by the way.) But this go-round I had to get down to brass tacks here. How much is the stipend? What will I have to pay in travel expenses for her? ....that's all it began to boil down to.
So I ended up with a list of about 7 names and told the company of my choices and wanted more info and more pictures. Of those 7 girls.....2 were actually available, and weren't pregnant at the time (no, the irony doesn't escape me). So I chose 1...felt pretty thrilled with my choice considering the financial restraints I was working in! She also had green eyes! (my color)
She went for her first round of FDA testing. .....and failed. What the HELL!??!?!? Seriously, this was becoming a real nuisance! Was there no one out there that could pass a freaking blood test? So that left me with 1 donor.......
April is her name. Now April has proven to be a pretty swell choice. She passed her first round of testing (yes! one hurdle down) and from reports from the office staff she was "really nice." Okay folks, this is good. I like a girl with a nice personality who gets along with people, it just makes things run a whole lot smoother.
Choosing a donor is just an experience that was very difficult for me. Not because of the situation itself that leads me to need donor eggs in the first place, but because of lack of connection. I wanted to be anonymous...I still do. But I also am a person who likes to connect to people in a real way. What's April like when she's happy? What's she like when she's stressed? Does she have a "story" ? (Everyone has a story of course.) It's all just odd not to have those pieces of the puzzle together in my head...and ultimately my heart I think.
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